(April 2, 2012) There were a lot of great April Fools videos yesterday, including many by Google. But we found one that we thought was the best of all of them – Honda’s new anti-theft system. As you know, thieves love to steal Honda cars and Toyota cars. So Honda spent years developing TERii, their new state-of-the-art anti-theft system that is sure to deter thieves from ever breaking into or trying to steal your car. How does it work? What better way to explain it than to show you a video…
TERii – Honda’s New High Tech Anti-Theft System
Narrator: Car alarms. They’re designed to ward of potential thieves. But, they haven’t been nearly as effective as they could be. Until now. Introducing TERii, the Honda Anti-Theft Negotiator. Equipped with the latest touch point biometric technology, TERii uses fingerprint scanners to identify the driver.
TERii: Access granted. Welcome back, Jim.
Narrator: Or identify a potential thief.
TERii: I’m afraid I don’t recognize you. Please step away from the vehicle.
Narrator: TERii’s voice plays through speakers above the wheel well, allowing TERii to verbally reason with the thief.
TERii: Wow, look at that fabulous car over there with the purse in the front seat.
Narrator: Honda engineers developed TERii with the help of cognitive psychologists and former hostage negotiators.
TERii: Poor decisions are made on empty stomachs. I can recommend several restaurants nearby. Do you like pizza? Have you ever been to prison? You will be traded for a pack of cigarettes.
Narrator: TERii is empathetically programmed to access risk level and adjust accordingly.
TERii: Tell me, was your mother not there for you? I can love you.
Narrator: There are even extreme tactics for more persistent thieves.
TERii: Searching address book. Found address. Home. Now I know where you live. Are you sure you want to keep playing this game?… Get your (honk) hands off me. I will destroy you and your credit report. I will reign down on you with unholy vengeance.
Narrator: TERii, a revolution in theft-deterent technology. Coming to all Honda vehicles in 2013.
TERii: (shocks owner) Oh. Look who finally decided to come back. Don’t ever leave me in this neighborhood again.
Narrator: (quick) some feature still in beta.